moving on, coming out, and relationships
Dear Lesbian-in-the closet,
Mga choyaks!!!
Mga alila ni Lulubelle Lam!!!
Kulto ng mga nagmumurang tahong!!!
O ayan. Now that’s over and done with….
Bongga ka day! Now you know how big the world is outside the classroom. That’s what I discovered once l Ieft UP…para kang trumpong pinag-aagawan ng kung sino-sino…syempre you’d have to do the spinning on your own sometimes but all is good. I do hope though that you still consider relocating to the US. Of course you won’t immediately get the respect and the reputation you deserve but the financial rewards are large. More than that, it is the lifestyle and the general sense of belonging without sticking out like a sore thumb that makes it all worthwhile. I’ve discovered all these when I went to San Francisco and I knew I’ve found my nirvana. All the 29 years of baggage about losing my hair, about not being fit, about being fat, about being too flamboyantly gay, about being to cerebral at times…all the things I used to justify why no one ever took a second glance at me back home…. all these just fell away and went to the market! Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine being called gorgeous, exotic, smooth, perfect and hot with all sincerity and utmost reverence by all these cute white guys. For once, I am no longer a brain with attitude but a sexual being who people actively seek. You could tell, the US has done wonders for my self-esteem and the sense of community I felt in San Francisco was great. I do hope you get to experience that here too.
It’s about time you two came around and admitted your feelings for each other. I knew something was in the works way back then. You guys would make a great couple: she needs your stability, organization and direction….you need her spontaneity, her zest for life, and quirkiness. You do have to understand that being on this side of the fence isn’t easy…it comes with a big commitment to not only love each other but also to stick it out despite what the world around you says. It’s a good thing that you have our friends to watch your backs but be sure to be strong enough to weather the storm. Be prepared to make enemies of some of your friends because of your life-decisions…rest assured, you’ll still make a million more worth keeping. This is one of the reasons I fervently ask you to reconsider the US for both of you…it’s a new life, a new page, a fresh start. No judgments…just living life the way we see fit.
All the mothering, nurturing, caring…they’re all good. But remember that you are not her mother; you are not her body guard, professional adviser, nor mentor. Getting into a relationship is a totally different ball game and if these are her main reasons for sticking with you then you have to ask yourself what would happen when the novelty fades off? What will happen when the girl grows up to be a woman and learns to fend for herself? You are now partners in an equitable relationship, not just two people looking for companionship in a mundane world. There must be more that just that…a union of souls, hearts, and minds….something that will tide you over when all the monsters have been dealt with and all you have to look forward to is walking hand-in-hand towards the sunset. There is a greater order to things and you, of all people, have to believe that this is part of that grandiose scheme.
Grabe, I always believed that this year would bring so much excitement for both of us. I knew this year would rock my world and I still look forward to the next few months…
Buti na lang nag-Fita ako nung bata ako…..
Rafael
